A bad day followed by a really bad night followed by a line from Supertramp

So, I'm sitting here today, wondering if it's me or the world.

All comfort foods, or at least all of MY comfort foods, are my allergens. Sigh. What to do to compensate, then? Eat them anyway, after an emotion-filled day, regardless of the fact you are supposed to be fasting.

Yes, as may well be imagined, I lie awake most of the night - thinking. And in terrible agony, but that was my own fault for eating allergens. My major thoughts were focused on one of my latest revlations. I used the term "self-defeatist" in what I thought was error recently, but the more research I do, the more I found it's true. To use another favorite word: Serendipity.

You see, if Facebook has told me one thing, it's that my major, major crushes from my younger days are all still single. This includes (and no offense to Husband) the great love of my life. I ask myself, is it an indicator that I was trying to attain, then, the unattainable in terms of men, was I truly "not good enough", or was it them?

Or is it an indicator of my self-defeatist behavior?

The questions run too deep for such a simple mind today.