Waiting for spring

I found it a little odd that one of the feral 10-month-old kittens from the barn, the one I called (Play) Misty (for me), was hanging out on the porch yesterday. She let the dogs sniff her, and I took a few pictures of her that I was going to title "Kitty doesn't feel well today". I sat down beside her, gently stroking her head, and then tried to feel her over to see if she had been hit by a car and was injured. She felt amply fed for her size - her mother, Luna, is very tiny and so are her siblings - but she had been having tummy trouble; the evidence was on her tail. It was most likely coccidia, a very virulent intestinal issue and difficult to cure. We have been going through it with Brody for the past 5 months.

I left her in peace and went about my day. Later, I noticed her head was laying in the snow near the water dish. I didn't have much hope, but I prepared some of Brody's medication mixed in canned food and called the vet's office to make an appointment for Monday as it was too late Friday.

By the time I took the meds out, though, Misty was gone. Not off the deck, but out of this life. She looked so peaceful, lying in the sun. I wrapped her in a blanket to bury her.

I never realized she was even sick. It amazes me that, for living in a body, surrounded by other living creatures living in bodies, we can have no idea what is going on inside each self.

For many years I knew I was not well. For many years I was "poo-pooed" by the medical industry (ironic that I hate traditional western medicine but am married to a surgeon). I spent days in the hospital, hours and hours in ERs, developing a grave case of "white coat syndrome". Now, I am not surprised to find that I have a multitude of health issues. It took a holistic physician to find them.

But, I also think about the many other issues that go on inside others. We can know and love someone but never "know" that person. You never learn the little things - the hows, the whys. The private 'illness' that makes someone blinded to reality and binds the ability to communicate and share.

I'm tired of winter. I am ready for spring.